I Quit
by Dizzy Hwin
Summary: Rogue leaves the mansion for a normal life, but soon finds herself deep in trouble
1. I quit

I hit the ground hard as Logan threw me out of the way of the shower of bullets. All the noise around me seemed to silence as each bullet hit his body with a dull thud. All I could do was watch, as they shot him over and over as he struggled to stay upright, to repair himself in time for the next onslaught of bullets.

A large gust of wind from Storm shot through the group, knocking our attackers to the ground. Logan stumbled forward and barely stayed upright as I grabbed him , his uniform hanging off him in shreds. With each breathe I could taste the metallic tang of blood as I pulled him towards the Blackbird. Jubilee held the door open for us, an adrenaline-high smile on her face. I stumbled forward as Jean took Logans heavy weight off me and pushed him gently onto the medical bed. The bay doors begin me closed with a bang as I stood frozen in place. Jean was now totally focused on Logan, her instruments and gauze swirling around her as she began applying pressure to the worse of his wounds. Beside me, Storm quietly grimaced as she stepped over the trail of Logan's blood and gave me a gentle push towards my seat.

I stared blankly ahead, numb as the battle played through my head. I barely even registered as Scott barked out orders as he prepared to lift off. Jean strapped Logan to the bed as he finally lost consciousness. All the noise of the engines and post-fight chatter faded into white noise as I watch Jean quietly gathered up the discarded, blood soaked towels and placed them into a small bin beside the bed. Jubilee leaned over me, strapping me into the seat as the Jet engines rumbled into action. My attention turned to the window we flew from the scene of the battle. Below, the Brotherhood members on the ground scrambled, making their way back to their town stronghold south of our small battlefield.

I broke out of my haze as a white towel was waved in my face. "Heya chica, you might wanna wash down your face." Jubilee said quietly, pushing the towel into my hands.

I stroked the white towel down my face and held it in front of myself. I suppressed a shudder as it was soaked in blood. Logan's blood.

"I'm never doing this again" I said quietly to myself as I calmly dabbed the towel against my leather suit.

Jubilee looked at me with uncertainty, that silly adrenaline smile still lingering on her face. "It wasn't the smartest attack but at least we'll be ready for next time."

"No Jubilee," I said, dropping the blood soaked towel at my feet. "This is it; I quit. I quit this fucking war."

Jubilee managed to stumbled out a quiet "but.." before I held up a hand to silence her. Her hand rested on my shoulder for the briefest of moments before she stood up and moved a few seats down.

I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling and let the exhaustion and the dull rumble of the engines lull me to sleep.


	2. Red

I woke as a shudder ran through the plane. I blinked slowly and slide my eyes half open towards the window, recognising the dark artificial lighting of the basement level of the Mansion. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes, listening as I willed myself to stand. I heard Jubilee get out of the seat and Jeans hushed voice said, "Leave her to sleep. I think it's been a bit of a horrific day for her."

As their footsteps faded down the stairs, I opened my eyes again. I could see Logan sitting down on a chair in the hanger, healed from his earlier wounds. A short cigar hung from the corner of his mouth, the smoke curling upwards around his face. His eyes stared at the ground, seemingly trying to bore a hole in it with his eyes. The scraps of leather that were once his uniform were hanging off him in pieces, his blood caked onto the leather. I looked down at my own uniform, the same red blood against the black. Bile rose in my throat as I unclipped my belt and stumbled towards the door.

Logan stumped his cigar out on the concrete and walked into the changing room as I paused at the plane doorway. I leaned against it, sucking in fresh air in deep breathes, . I walked down the stairs and across the floor towards the elevator. I heard Jubilee call out to me, but I ignored her as I punched at the elevator buttons. The doors slid open as Logan rounded the corner, pulling on a hooded jersey. Our eyes met briefly as the doors slid closed.

As the lift doors slid open on the dormroom, there were audible gasps of horror at my appearance. The group of students crowding around fell silent and parted as I stuck my head down and started walking. While everyone knew about the X-men and their exploits, the team was usually so careful to hide the aftermath of these encounters. The students rarely knew if one of their teachers or fellow students had been fighting, let alone seen us in uniform or hurt. Many only knew what was passed on to them by older students when the plane flew up from the basketball court. I was too tired to be anything more than indifferent to their shock. Reality was obviously a bit less glamorous than the story told by torchlight. Bloody footprints marked the carpet as I trudged towards my dormroom.

I snuck a look down the hall as I made it to my room. Making his way through the stunned students was Logan. I quickly entered the code and slipped inside. I locked the door behind me, deactivating the key codes. I pulled off my gloves and leaned my forehead against the door. I could hear heavy footsteps thump up to my door and faint beeps as a 6 digit was entered into the keypad outside. The door handle rattled as Logan tried to turn it and faint swearing as it refused to give way.

"Marie" He hissed through the door. "Let me in. I just need to talk to you."

I ignored his whispers and walked into my bathroom. Splashing my face with water, I stared at my reflection. The left side of my face was caked in blood, the trails of water dripping red off my chin. My white streak was a strange pink/red as I picked chunks of dried blood from my hair and dropped them into the sink below. Flashes of other people memories flowed through my head, their lives snatched away by my unforgiving skin. Pulling open the medical cabinet, I pulled out soap and began scrubbing my hands. No matter how much I scrubbed, the colour remained. I could feel the crusty feeling of the dried blood beneath my fingernails, smell it as I scrubbed and rinsed. Frustrated, I tossed the soap into the sink and opened up the cabinet below it. Pushing aside a small collection of various shampoos and soaps, I finally found a facecloth and a stiff nail brush. Rubbing the bristles against the top of the soap, I resumed my scrubbing and rinsing, trying to get rid of the blood.

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of it. The water ran clear as I rinsed off the soap, but I could still feel it there. As I caught myself in the mirror, I dropped the brush and picked up the washcloth to start on the dots of red on my face. As though my own body was taunting me, my skin took on a bloody colour of its own, red-raw from my scrubbing.

Logan's impatient knocking at the door became louder and louder until finally the blade sliced through the lock and the door swung open. Drying my face, I walked out of the bathroom. Dressed in his gym tracksuit, Logan gently closed the door and leaned against it. His eyes wandered over my blood soaked X-men suit.

"That all my blood?" he said calmly.

I nodded and looked down at my suit. Tears sprung to my eyes. Logan came over and put his arms around me, pulling me into a big bear hug. I cried into his shoulder, the sobs shuddering through my whole body. His hands stroked my hair as he hushed into my ear.

"I'm alright Marie, everything's alright."

"All the blood Logan." I sobbed. "The blood…."

"It's over now Marie. Everything's alright now."

Leaning back, I looked up into his eyes. "No, its not. It's never gonna be alright, Logan. There's always going to be blood and bloodshed and the memories…"

I broke away as I stared at the patch of pinkish red I had left on his jumper. Images of his hands covered in blood flashed across my vision. I backed away, retreating to the bathroom door. "You can go now Logan. I need some time to think."

Logan followed my gaze to the patch of blood. "Look, Marie…"

"Stop calling me that." I said quietly. "Marie is a sixteen year old from Mississippi, who only had to worry about math tests and mall crawls and who's got a crush on who." I could hear my voice getting louder and more panicked, but I couldn't stop.

"I have blood on my hands Logan." I choked on my words, trying hard to calm down. "I live in a world of codenames and hatred and actually having to fight everyday for my own existence. I can kill someone with a touch and today I have BLOOD on my hands. Literally! This is not Marie. This shouldn't be me, this shouldn't be my life."

"I'm really starting to think that Marie's dead and gone and I'm not liking her replacement." I turned around and walked slowly into the bathroom. "Just… leave me alone Logan. I need to think." I said as calmly as I could before closing the bathroom door.

I leant against the door, my knees giving way as I slid onto the floor. I heard his footsteps and the door clicked shut as he left. I sat against the bathroom door, crying as though I would never stop. Silent tears ran down my cheeks. _What had I done? Had I just pushed away my only true friend? The one friend who truly cared for me?_

My friend who had blood on his hands too. I stood up and stepped into the shower. As I turned on the water, the blood dripped from the suit and disappeared down the drain. Logan's memories flooded my head….

I could feel how scared he was when he accidentally stabbed me, his thoughts of responsibility and fear when I trying to leave. And the cold feeling of vengeance and hate as he plunging his claws into Mystique. I smacked my head against the wall of the shower, gasping at the pain.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed, clawing at my temples. My breathing quickened and I felt dizzy. "Leave me alone…" I sobbed as I slid down the wall onto the shower floor.

Memories of the pain he suffered as I sucked the life out of his body. _The pain he had suffered because of me._ I pulled off the suit, the blood still dripped from it, swirling at my feet.

I reached up and turned off the cold water tap. The water turned scalding hot, my skin prickled with pain. I sat under the streams of burning water. _I must get rid of the blood_ I thought, scrubbed at my skin. The horrible red blood. Unable to stay under the water any longer, I turned off the water. My skin tingled with throbbing pin-pricks and I just lay back, relishing it like if I say here long enough, it could burn away my sins.


	3. The Past returns

*Means thought speech* - Flashbacks –

  
  
_I was surrounded by people, all of them with weapons, each one pointed at me. I reached out my bare hands towards them. My hands of death. The people began screaming, dropped one by one as my pale hands touched them. My victims lay around me, all of them dead. I retracted my hands and stared at them. They were covered with blood. Their blood. I began to scream as the blood continued to drip from my hands, forming large puddle around me. Red hands reached out of the blood and grabbed at my legs. I fought against their grip as they pulled me down. I let out one last scream as I disappeared down into the blood and everything turned red._

  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I awoke on the floor of the shower, my skin burning with indescribable pain. 

Ignoring the pain, I carefully stood up and walked over to my closet. Wincing as I looked down at my red inflamed skin, I dried myself off. Opening up my wardrobe, I picked out a black pair of Jeans, a green long sleeved T-shirt and a matching pair of green gloves. 

As I was cleaning up the mess I had felt the Professor enter my mind, so I slammed up my mental shields. *Go Away* I shouted at him, trying to push him out of my head. He resisted against my feeble attempt. 

*If something is wrong Marie…* he started. 

*DON'T CALL ME THAT! * I screamed with one final mental push.

With that, the professor retreated out of my mind as quietly as he came. I went to the window, opened it and stared out. It was mid-morning, the sun bright and warm against my skin. I looked over the gardens, to the giant fields. Logan was out on the furthest field, teaching his self- defense class. I watched as the students watched with intense concentration as he carefully demonstrated how to disarm a attacker with a knife. Suddenly memories flooded my head

_---The first attacker came at me from the front, knife in his left hand. I quickly disarmed him and shoved my fist into his nose. I felt a wire wrapped around my neck from behind and pull tight. Unable to scream, I kicked him in the groin and the second attacker released his hold. I dropped to the ground, desperately gasping for breath. He stood in front of me, his hands grabbed my shoulders, pulling me to my feet. I quickly grabbed at the knife on the ground and stabbed it into his neck. His face went pale as he fell to the ground and gasped for breath. I stood there watching as he took his final breath, his eyes locked on mine. I was satisfied with myself. And my hands were covered in blood, his blood ---_

Shaking the memory from my head, I turned away from the windows. I walked to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. My face was slightly burnt, but nothing that couldn't be concealed with a little make-up. After carefully applying enough make-up to hiding the burns, I opened the door and peered out. There was no-one in the hallway, so I walked out of my room and locked the door behind me. 

I walked down the halls, avoiding the other students who walked past. I walked into the seemingly empty rec room and sat down on the couch. The only other person in the room was Jubilee, who sat silently on a chair, watching the TV. Unable to break the awkward silence, I stood up and walked over to grab a soda from the fridge. 

When I turned around, Jubilee stood blocking my way. 

"We need you Rogue. If you wish to take a couple of weeks off, away from the X-men and the mansion, the Professor said you can." she said, her eyes pleading. "But we need you." 

I hugged her gently and stepped past. I turned to her and looked into her eyes. 

"I can't do this anymore, Jubilee. Each battle I watch people get hurt or get killed and some of that is my fault." I paused, trying not to let myself get choked up. "And each time that happens, in every mission, I feel less and less pity and sorrow for those people. And its like watching a movie. I don't feel anything. I'm scared Jubilee, I can't allow myself to become that." I said, walking past her and paused at the door. 

I'm sorry" I said as I left the room, leaving the stunned Jubilee behind.  
  
I quickly made my way up to my room to escape the sound. I quietly closed the door behind me and locked it, I made my way to my bed and reached underneath. I grabbed at the rough material and pulled it out. My army green backpack. I stood up holding the bag to my chest and slowly walked over to my closet. 

I packed my possessions in the large bag, trying hard to suppress the emotion of leaving the place I had called home for so long. And then I found the box. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I opened it and picked out Logan's dog-tags. I fell to my knees and just cried. I didn't want to leave but I had no choice. 

Dropping the tags to the ground, I wiped my eyes and sat staring at them. He had given them to me as a promise. That he would never leave me. And that he would always protect me. Ripping a piece of paper from a nearby notebook, I quickly wrote down a note to him and wrapped the dog tags inside the paper. Giving the small parcel a quick kiss, I lay it on my bed and continued packing.  
  



	4. Supression

I had left the note for Logan and Jubilee outside their doors and had made my way out of the mansion as quietly as I could. I ran across the damp grass, the midnight moonlight guiding my way. I opened the door to the garage and slipped in and closed the door behind me. I unlocked the Jeep and manually opened the Garage door. Throwing my bag into the back seat, I climbed into the leather seats of the jeep, started it up and slowly moved out of the garage. 

I drove my way to the main driveway and took one last look at the school. To my surprise, the front door swung open and a small figure ran out. Jubilee. Her face was dripped with tears as she ran across the wet grass towards me, my note held tightly in her right hand. 

I pressed down the accelerator and speed towards the gates. As I reached the main road, I paused, looking back in the rear view mirror. Jubilee had sunk to the ground on the driveway, her arms outstretched towards me, her body shaking as she sobbed. Looking back towards the road, I turned left and continued down the road, silent tears running down my face.  
  


  
I dumped the Jeep at a bus station, fourteen miles north of the mansion. I changed into some of Jubilee's clothes that I borrowed to put Logan off the scent and sat down by the road. 

As the sun rose I began to walked down the road, holding out my thumb in hope of a ride. Lucky, a trucker stood pity on me and I was soon miles away from the mansion, riding in the cabin of an eighteen wheel diesel truck. As he made his final delivery for the day, he stopped at a bus station and opened the door for me. 

Taking the hint, I nodded and climbed out of the truck. As he drove away, I stared at the dirty sign swing gently in the breeze. The bus station has closed down. Sighing, I walked down the main road, think about what to do next. Decided to find out where I was, I walked into the nearest shop and up to the counter. 

Seeing no one was around, I looked at the variety of necklaces and bracelets under the counter. 

"They're surppression bracelets for mutants?" I spun around to find a old man standing behind me. 

"Pardon?" I asked back. 

"The Bracelets are surpression devices for mutants. You know, to suppress their powers?" 

I looked him, his face calm and serious as he moved behind the counter. "A pretty girl like you can never be to careful" he said with a sleazy smile. 

Looking down at the bracelets, I selected one and slowly pointed it out the old man. 

"Can I have that one?" I asked. With a puzzled expression, he picked up the bracelet and handed it to me. 

"Ten dollars please". I handed over the money and left the shop. 

Walking across the street, I sat down on a stiff park bench overlooking a children's playground. The children playing in the afternoon sun ignored me as I looked carefully at the bracelet. It was made out of silver with red gems gleaming up at me. Slipping off my glove, I fastened the bracelet to my hand. I felt a needle press into my skin underneath the silver and my skin began to tingle, painfully at first, but after a few minutes I couldn't feel it at all.

Pulling off my other glove, I stared at my bare pale hands. A young girl came up quietly and sat beside me on the bench. 

"What's wrong with your hands?" she asked. 

Smiling, I looked at the girl, her blue eyes shinning with curiosity. She reached out her hands and grabbed mine. I smiled in triumph as she turned my hands over in her tiny hands. 

"There's nothing wrong with your hands" she stated, letting go of my hand, moving to stand in front of me. 

A single tear rolled down my cheek. "Now what's wrong?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips. 

Unable to find words, I gently took her in my arms and hugged her. When I let go of her, she gave my a puzzled look and ran off to join her friends. I stayed on the bench until the sunlight began to fade and the kids had gone home. 

Pulling my bag over my shoulder, I walked across the park, to the group of shops on the other side. All the shops were closing as I passed them. I kept walking as the row of shops finished, the road became gravel and dusty. In front of me, a sign BAR flashed in bright red letters. I opened the door and stepped in the smoky room. I felt many pairs of eyes following me as I approached the bartender. I sat down on the stool and looked around the bar. The bartender leaned over the bar at me. 

"You want something?" I stared back at him. "Water please" 

He gave me a disapproving look, but still gave me the drink. Sensing that I was not welcome, I skulled down the water and headed for the door. A cold wind greeted me as I opened the door and wrapping my coat more tightly around myself, I stepped outside. Walking slowly down the road, I pulled my bag off my shoulder and searched through it for a thicker coat. 

"Don't move." came a voice from behind me as I felt something sharp pushed against my back. 

I dropped my bag as an arm came round my waist and reached inside my shirt. I stiffened as the rough fingers rubbed against my stomach. 

"Please don't" I begged as he reached higher up into shirt and played with my bra. 

Sick to my stomach, I slammed my foot into his groin. As he loosen his grip on my waist, I hooked my foot behind his knee and brought him down. Kicking the knife from his hand, I reached for my bag only to have my feet disappear as they were kicked out from under me. An explosion of colour filled my eyes as my head hit the ground. I struggled to see straight as he grabbed my hair and dragged me across the ground. I screamed as my coat was grabbed from me and my shirt ripped open. I sobbed as I was held down and his hands pulled at my pants. 

"Stop!" came an uncertain voice. He released his hold and I looked around for the voice that had saved me. A hand came out of nowhere and I was pulled me to my feet. My vision cleared and I found myself standing next to rifle bearing man pointed at my attacker. 

The attacker held up his hands in resignation. "Fine, fine." He pointed at me "You asked for it" he said threatingly before staggering off into the darkness. 

Lowering the rifle, the other guy held out his hand "Name's Marco" 

I took his hand and shook it. "Marie" 


	5. Logan's POV

Logan's POV.

  
  
_I was surround by them, the metal, cold against my skin. The masked people looked down at me through the water, watching me intensely as thought I was animal at the zoo. A masked figure stepped forward toward, dipped his hand into the water. His arm reached slowly into the water towards my left arm, I felt the pinprick as he injected something into arm. Then without warning, my body spasmed as the indescribable pain tore at my body. As I struggled against the strong restraints, a screeching noise grew louder in my ears. Then everything turned black._

Finding myself free of the restraints, I slashed at the air, fighting the invisible demons that plagued my mind. 

Sweat pouring off my face, I began to chant to myself "Its not real, you're at the mansion" over and over. 

Taking deep breaths, I gently retracted my claws and surveyed the scene around. 

"Dam," I thought to myself, spotting the feathers on my bed. "Third pillow I've destroyed this week." 

Desperate for a drink, I got up, pulled on the nearest pair of sweatpants and made for the door. As I closed my door behind me, I stood on a hard object. Ignoring it, I continued to walk down the hall to the stairwell. 

Walking down the stairs, I was surprised to find Jubilee sitting on the bottom step looking at her hands, sobbing like a baby. In her right hand was piece of paper, with a messy writing on it. Jubilee looked up at me, her eyes red and swollen. 

"She's gone" she whispered in between sobs. 

I bent down, my eyes level with hers. "Who's gone?" I whispered back. 

"Rogue" she said, lowering her eyes to the floor. 

Grabbing the note from her hand, I quickly read the few words that were scribbled on the paper.  
  
**I'm sorry Jubilee. Remember what I told you before. I'll come back someday, but for now I need to be away from here. Goodbye. Rogue**  
  
Dropping the note, I ran up the stair and down the hall to my room. Swinging open my door, I grabbed my leather pants and jacket and quickly put them on. Slipping on a pair of heavy boots, I made for the door. Once again standing on the hard object in front of my door, I picked it up and threw it into the metal bin outside my room. 

Hearing the resonating sound of metal on metal, I walked over the bin and fetched out the paper-wrapped object. Unwrapping the paper, my dogtags fell into my hands. Staring down at my dog tags, I slowly walked into my room. Flattening out the piece of paper, my eyes burned as I read the note.  
  
**Dear ****Logan****, I can't stay here. I feel as this 'war' is killing me and by staying here, its like taking a razor to my arm every day. Keep your tags, I'll come back for them, and you. I will come back someday. I promise. Please, just let me go and find my own life away from all of this first. It is possible for people like us to have normal lives and I want one. Goodbye ****Logan****. Marie  
  
I stared at the tear stricken letter. She was gone. In shock, I walked out of the room , down the stairs and sat next to Jubilee. She had stop crying and was staring out the nearby window, watching the sun rise. **

"We have to go get her" she said calmly. 

"No" I said, passing Jubilee the note Marie had left me. 

Her face remained emotionless as she silently read the note. Looking back out of the window, she passed the noteback to me. 

Her voice broke though the silence between us "So, her real names Marie. And you knew?" 

Nodding silently, I turned to her. "We can't tell anyone that she's gone. Not yet." I said "She needs things out, without the others trying to get her back." 

Standing up, I walked down the hall and into Scott's classroom. Picking the crappy lock with a claw, I grabbed the bottle of Bourbon out of his drawer and returned to the stairs. 

Jubilees eyes opened in surprise as I took a large swig and offered the bottle to her. Taking it, Jubilee stared at the bottle. 

Chuckling to myself, I took the bottle from her. "Don't like it, fine. More for me" 

Taking another swig, I looked down at Jubilee to find her trying not to laugh. "Mr Summers had that in his drawer?" she giggled, taking the bottle from me and taking a swig of the murky brown liquid. "Guess the stick isn't permanently stuck up there" 

Laughing along with her, I grabbed the bottle off her before she spilt it. And there we sat, getting drunk until Scott found us when he got up an hour later.


	6. Marco & Marie

  
Marco stood looking around, the light from the bar sign flickering on his face. He had on a dirty, hooded sweatshirt, Jeans and sneakers. His hair short and brown, like Scott's. His face was young, about 28 or so, but his dark brown eyes seemed younger. 

Turning back to me, his face was creased with worry as he looked at me. "Need some clothes or something?" he asked, pointed to my torn shirt. 

Shaking my head I attempted to cover myself with my bag. 

"Come on," he said "You can change in my car...." he stuttered slightly. "That is, if you want?" 

Smiling, I motioned for him to lead the way. Shoving the rifle into a backpack he was wearing, he walked over to a beat-up Land Rover in the car park and unlocked it. Marco dropped the backpack inside and looked back at me. I stopped a couple of feet away, unsure of whether or not to trust Marco. His kind face reminded me of Logan. 

Picturing Logan face, I felt the horrible blood on his hands reached for me and I suddenly felt faint. Feeling my legs fall out from under me, I reached out my hands to find myself being held up by Marco's strong arms. Closing my eyes and banishing all thoughts of Logan, I was lifted off my feet. Hearing a door being opened, I opened my eyes as Marco gently placed me in the back seat of the Land Rover. Leaving the door open, Marco walked around the car, opened the front passenger door and stood searching through a pile of things on the floor.

Due to the dim lighting in the Land Rover, it soon became apparent that he lived in here. Sitting up, I swung my legs out of the side of the Land Rover and looking up at the moon. Forgetting modesty, I slipped off my ripped shirt, pulled another out of my bag and slipped it on. Finding what we wanted, Marco straightened and walked back around the car towards me. 

"Food?" he asked, holding up a bag of cookies.

"Great" I said, smiling. 

"You want to come with me to somewhere else?" He asked, looking around. "We can't stay here. That guy will be back soon." 

I stood up slowly, testing my legs as I didn't want to seem weak and helpless to Marco. Marco sat down in the front driver's seat, the bag of cookies resting on the wheel. Keeping the door open, I slipped into the comfortable bucket seat and reached for the cookies.  
  
I sat looking out the front windscreen, watching the headlights cut through the darkness as we drove down the empty highway. Finishing the bag of cookies, I broke the awkward silence between us. 

"So, how old are you?" I asked. 

Regan paused, as though he had to think about it. 

"About 24, I think." He said turning to face, his voice unemotional. I raised my eyebrow, questioningly 

"I stopped counting when I left home" Sighing, he looked back out at the darkness. "What about you, huh? How old are you?" 

"20" I said flatly. I couldn't get personal here. Eat his cookies, hitch a ride and then move on. Straight and simple. Never get personal. All it gets you is pain and suffering. Marco opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. Noting his nervousness, I formed another question to ask him. 

"Do you live anywhere around here or are you passing through?" 

Marco spun his head around to look at me, his eyes surprised. "I have a home. This Land Rover is all I've got." My mouth dropped opened in surprise.  
  
"You are so lucky," I said "I would do anything for that." 

Marco regarded my answer as though I had asked him a question. "Are you running from something Marie?" 

I stared at him blankly. What could I tell him? What if he didn't like mutants? Could I trust him with that information? "I couldn't stay at home. To much fighting." 

He took this explanation without any questions. Pulling over at an abandoned petrol station, he switched off the engine and took off his seat belt. 

"Do you need a place to sleep tonight?" he asked, looking around. "It may not be much but you can sleep here or I can take you to the nearest town." 

Reminding myself not to get personal, I nodded my head. "And then I can take you as far as New Jersey tomorrow. Alright?" 

Smiling at him, I opened my mouth to thank him and he did something I wasn't expecting. He leaned over and moved some hair off my face, accidentally touched my cheek. As I flinching at the rare feeling of another persons touch, Marco pulled his hand away from me, his face staring as his hands, embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. Checking I was still wearing the bracelet, I touched his shoulder gently, showing him I wasn't afraid of him. 

"I wasn't expecting it. It's not you," I paused, thinking of an acceptable answer "It's just that guy before..." 

I said waving into the darkness. Leaning over his chair, he grabbed a blanket and covered himself with it. 

"You can sleep in the back if you want. I'll sleep here." 

Climbing over the back, I found a blanket on the floor and curled up across the seats. Listening to the sound of Marcos breathing, I closed my eyes, willing myself to catch up on all the rest that I could get.  
  


_  
I was sitting on the edge of the woods beside the mansion, the wind playing gently on my bare arms. Looking over at the mansion, it was surround by students. Some of them were playing basketball on the courts, others sitting around and talking. Tears filling my eyes, I turned away from the mansion to find the members of the X-men standing in front of me. They all stood smiling at me, Jubilee's eyes dripping with tears. Logan stepped forward, his face unusually happy and his arms reached out for me. Pulling me into his embrace, I stared at the others as they smiled at us. Looking back up at __Logan__, his face had got gray and he began shaking. My hands. They had been touching his skin. Pushing him away from me, he stumbled backwards into Scott. Lying on the ground, __Logan__ turned red, his eyes now black. From underneath him, blood flowed outwards onto the ground. As the blood flowed outwards and touched the other X-men, each one of them fell to the ground, the blood flowing from them. Logan and the others slowly disappeared into the blood, their final words a collective gurgled scream. Soon, they all disappeared and I was all alone in the woods, the ground was covered in the blood of my friends._  
  
Waking from my dream, I immediately sat up. Staring at my hands in the moonlight, tears sprung to my eyes and rolled down my cheek silently. Marcos breathes steady breathes assured me of his sleeping presence. 

Reaching down into my bag, I pulled out a pair of gloves. Slowly pulled them on, I unlocked the door beside me and opened it. 

Carefully climbing out, I reached in and pulled out my bag. "Thanks Marco, for everything" I whispered, closing the door. 

Walking out to the road, I stuck out my thumb and waited for a car. I stood there watching and waiting as car after car passed me by. Soon, a black Ford Falcon slowed down in front of me and I ran up to meet it. 

Opening the back door, I looked into the falcon at the driver. "Remember me?" He said calmly. It was the guy from the bar. Trying to back away, I screamed as two muscled arms grabbed me and pushed me into the car. 


	7. Capture

I slammed into opposite door hard, my head sent spinning from the hit. Blinking my eyes slowly, I heard the wheels squealing as the car lurched forward and picked up speed. Sitting up, my eyesight was blurred. Taking a moment to adjust my vision, I reached for the door handle and pulled it up and down. The door just wouldn't open. 

My attacker and his friend laughed at me. "Don't bother. It's got child lock on." he smirked. 

Sitting back in the seat, I raised my shoe and aimed to slam it into the passengers face. With reflexes faster than mine, the passenger quickly swung round and pointed a handgun in my face. Putting my foot back on the floor, I realized that I was screwed. No one knew where I was, no one could save me. These guys meant business and I was disposable once they had finished. I leaned forward towards the passenger, holding up my hands in resignation. 

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, trying to sound calm. 

"Shut up." The passenger snapped back. 

"Where are you taking me?" I screamed. 

Grabbed my coat, he pulled me forward so fast I didn't see the gun as he swung it at my face. Feeling it connect with my jaw, I screamed as everything went black.

  
  
I jolted awake as my body hit the hard wooden surface. Opening my eyes to see only black cloth that covered them, I listened carefully only to hear the sound of small splashes. Attempting to move my arms, I found they were tied tightly behind me. 

"Get up" came a deep voice. 

Struggling to my knees, I fought at my restraints. "Release me!" I demanded. 

Hearing laughs, I called on Logan's senses within my head. Suddenly, I could smell five men around me and that I was next to a large amount of fresh water. Footsteps approached me and the wooden planks below me shuddered as something heavy was dropped beside me. It let out a hiss of pain. Marco. 

"Are you alright?" I whispered to him. A sharp intake of breathes confirmed he had heard me. 

"I'm fine." he whispered back slowly. Listened to his sharp painful breathes, I knew he must have been hurt badly. 

The footsteps approached again and I sighed in relief when the constricting cloth over my eyes was removed. Looking around, I was on a wharf of a lake as the five men stood over me, three carrying large rifles. 

"Please let him go," I pleaded, looking over at the restrained Macro. "I was the one who hurt your friend. He had nothing to do with it." 

The men looked down and laughed. The man who attacked me earlier bent over, his face inches from mine. "I wasn't finished with you. He got in my way. No one does that to me" 

Pushing me aside, he walked over to Marco and grabbed him by the hair. 

"Go get him Simon!" one of the other men called out. 

Simon hissed at him to shut up and grabbed a tighter grip on Marco hair. Marco groaned in pain as he was pulled upwards by his hair. Ripping the cloth from his face, Simon pulled at his hair once more, forcing him to stand at the end of the wharf. Marco stared at me, his eyes wide in fear. With his hands still tied behind his back, he was defenseless. 

Struggling against my restraints, I once again pleaded with my capturers. "Don't hurt him, please?" I begged, my voice trembling. "He can't even fight back. He doesn't have a chance." 

Simon turned around, his face thoughtful and evil. "Sure," he said, looking down at me. "He can fight, why not let him." 

Turning Marco around, Simon pulled a knife out of his belt, he cut the ropes on his hands. Pushed Marco to the ground, Simon stepped back and took a boxing. Marco lay on the ground, painfully breathing in and out. His friends looked at each other in uncertainty and moved back. 

"Get up!" Simon commanded, shoving his left steel-tipped boot into Marco's side.

Rolling over in pain, Marco slowly got to his hands and knees, keeping his eyes directed at the wooden planks. Simon lifted him boot to kick him again, Marco held out his hand. 

Slowly, Marco got to his feet, his balance unsteady. His eyes focused on Simon in a look of pure determination. Simon smiled evilly and raised his fists. Simon raced towards Marco, his body low and ready to tackle him. At the last second, Marco jumped to the side, bracing himself as he hit the ground. Simon spun around to receive a kick to the face. Simon stumbled backwards and fell onto his ass, blood dripped from his nose.

I expected Simon to be furious but instead he just smiled. "Big Mistake!" 

Pointing at his friend, Simon grinned. "Kill him." 

Marco's eyes opened in fear as Simons friend lifted a rifle and pointed it at Marco. 

"Noooo.................................."  
  
  
  


  
  


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	8. Angst

  
  
Marco's body hit the ground, a sharp gasp escaping his lips. The voices around me laughed and cheered as the red blood flowed from his body, glittered in the moonlight. 

This can't be happeing, I told myself as my tears dripped onto the wood. Not more blood on my hands. 

Closing my eyes to the sight of his body, the wooden planks creaked as footsteps approached. I felt a hand grabbed my hair and pulled. 

Painfully raised to my feet, I looked into the Simon's eyes as he played with my belt. "Are you going to be any more trouble because we could kill you too." I smiled at him in agreement. 

"Fuck you" I said, spitting in his face. 

The glob of saliva flowed down his unemotional face, his eyes staring coldly at me. Reaching into his pocket, Simon brought out a handkerchief and wiped his face slowly. 

"I like it when they're feisty." He said, his fist connecting with my stomach.

Doubling over in pain, my head went flying backward as an uppercut hit my jaw and I fell to the ground. I landed against Marco's body and felt his warm blood soak though my clothes and touch my skin. Gagging, I fought to keep my stomach contents down. 

Disgusted, Simon turned to his friends and joining them in congratulating the shooter of Marco. I closed my eyes and leaned against Marco's body, burying my face into the folds of his sweatshirt. 

"I'm so sorry." I whispered to him. "You helped me and you don't even know who or what I am. And you're only here because of me." 

"You're Marie and I wanted to help you" a faint voice whispered back. 

Shocked at his voice, I sat upright as Marco painfully turned over to reveal a large hole in his shoulder, blood running from it. 

Staring over my shoulder at Simon's turned back, Marco whispered to me. "When I say, I want you to run. Don't look back and don't wait for me. Just keep running." 

Stepped over my tied arms to bring them in front of me, I helped him to a standing position. One of Simon's friends noticed us. 

"Hey Simon." he said in amusement "The fuck'n kid's still alive." 

As Simon turned, Regan's eyes turned red and his hands glowed brightly at his side. 

"You picked the wrong person to mess with" he said calmly. 

Pointing in front of me, shadows formed in the shape of five small lions. I stared in shock at the shadows as they became solid and advanced towards the group of men. The men stood frozen, as the lions snapped their jaws and growled. Taking my cue, I ran from the end of the wharf. As I passed the group, the butt of a rifle swung out in front of me and hit me full in the face. My eyesight began to spin and I lost all sense of balance. Leaning to the left, I fell off the wharf and into the water with a loud splash.  
  


  
"Marie!" Marco's voice rang out from the noise above me. 

Struggling to swimming with my arms tied, I kicked my legs over to the wharf and clung to the nearest pylon. I listened carefully to the loud footsteps clunked above me. A single shot rang out and the night became silent. A body hit the water with a large splash a few meters from me. The water lapped at my chin as I listened to Simon whisper sharply at the others. 

"Put the guy in the boot and clean up the mess. Leave the girl in the water. Quick, hurry!" 

Two pairs of footsteps approached the end of the wharf and turned around, followed by the dull thud of something being dragged behind them. The footsteps of the other men thudded above me, their powerful torches scanning the water in front of me. 

"Can't see a thing" a deep voice said. 

"Oh, fuck it," The other said "lets go." 

Slowly, their footsteps faded away and the car engines roared as they drove into the distance. Looking around, I swam around the pylons underneath the wharf, looking for a ladder. Finding nothing, I continued to swim, my tied hands and my water-soaked clothing tiring me quickly. Resurfacing, I hit something solid with my hands. Turning around, the moonlight shone on it. Floating beside me was a white face. Marco's face.  
  
Feeling a lurch inside my body, I leaned forward under the water and vomited violently into the water. Needing air, I resurfacing beside my stomach contents and I reached over to Marco's floating body. Staring at it for a few moments, I grabbing his loose sweatshirt in my tied hands, I dove under the water and pushed his body towards the shore. 

His body floated peacefully across the water, His eyes cold and lifeless as they stared up at the sky. Standing up in the shallow water, I wiggling my hands free of the restraining rope. Calling upon every inch of reserved strength within me, I lifted Marco out of the water and lay him down on the rocky shore. 

I knelt down beside his lifeless body, checking for any signs of life. Looking down at oozing hole in his right temple, I saw the kind and selfless Marco that had once inhabited this body had gone. 

Tears running down my cheeks, I raised my head to the sky. Looking up a the peaceful stars above me, I opened my mouth and released all my pain and angst by screaming at the sky.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	9. Release

Disclaimer: X-men and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox etc

A\N : Sorry to all the Marco fans out there! :(

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"I'm just like you" I whispered to Marco, stroking his wet hair through my water soaked gloves. "I was too afraid to tell you cause I live in fear of discovery,"

I paused. "Fear of normal people. But I'm not normal. I'm untouchable."

Taking off my gloves, I released the catch on the bracelet. I felt a surge as my skin pulled at the air, tasting it and life of animals around me. I pulled off the bracelet, I examined the skin. Underneath where the bracelet had been, the skin had turned black and was rough and blistery.

Tearing my eyes from my blacken skin, I looked closely at the bracelet. Running my fingers along the red rubies, I pulled my fingers away as I felt a small pinprick. Lifting the bracelet closer to my face, I examined the row of tiny pins that reached out of the bracelet.

Pulling my arm back, I threw the bracelet with all my might. It flew towards the center of the lake and gravity grabbed at it, it dropped with a small plop into the dark water. Turning away from the lake, I stretched my body out and lay down beside Marco. My eyelids grew heavier as I struggled to stay awake, to stay with Marco. My eyes finally gave in and fell into a restless sleep.

The sunlight burned my eyes as I opened them in the morning. The sun was high in the sky and the sunlight was warm against my face.

Looking over at Marco, I stared at his body, wondering what to do. Apologizing, I reached into his front pocket and felt for his keys. Closing my fingers around the cold metal, I pulled them out of his pocket.

Standing up, I looked out to the nearby dust road. Grabbing Marco under the arms, I pulled his body gently towards a group of nearby bushes. Gently resting his body against the tree, I silent stood and walked towards the road.

Kicking at the dust, I looked up and down the long road, wishing for someone to come. Walking down the middle of the road, I slowly began to walk. For what seemed like hours, I walked down the dust road, staring at my feet.

Feelings of home sickness ran through my head as I remember all the things I left behind. The sound of Jubilee's laugh, the way Bobby makes ice statues, Logan's growl and most of all, the feeling of safety that I felt at the mansion.

As the dust slowly turned to gravel, I soon came across my first sign of civilization. Asphalt. Resisting the urge to bend down and kiss it, I turned and started down the long road.

As the buzz of a engine came closer, I stuck out my thumb and hoped the driver would stop. The rusty Mirage pulled over and slowly came to a stop. Running up to meet it, I closed my hand on the door handle and looking inside.

A thin male stared back at me through his black glasses. Opened the door, I sat down it the passenger seat and closed the door behind me.

"Where to?" he asked, a accent tinting his voice.

"The nearest bar." I stated as I put on my seatbelt. Noticing his eyebrow raised in surprise, he turned back to face the wheel and the engine roared as we sped forward.

"So why is da pretty chere all by herself on dis road?" He asked cautiously.

"I got drunk. Woke up down a dusty road. I can't remember the rest." I said coldly as the memories of the night played through my head and the haunting eyes of Marco as they stared up at the night sky.

Turning his head to look at me, he smiled gently. "And what was da pretty chere doing getting drunk?"

Blushing, I looked away from him. "Watch out!" I screamed as a rabbit ran across the road in front of us.

The car swerving to the left to avoid the creature, my body slammed up against the side door. Screeching to a halt, my seatbelt stopped me from hitting the windscreen. Sighing in relief, I turned to the driver. His glasses had been thrown off when he braked and he was desperately reaching underneath my seat.

"I'll get them." I said calmly, wondering why the glasses were so important.

Finding the glasses wedged between my seat and the door, I picked them up and handed them to him. Raising his head, I caught a glimpse of his eye as he put the glasses back on. They were burning red against a black. Almost devil-like.

Saying nothing, I looked out the windscreen. Starting up the car, he stepped on the accelerator and we sped back on our way.

Spying the bar in the distance, I pointed at the flashing sign.

"Could you drop me off by the sign?" I asked.

Pulling the car into the carpark, the driver took a look at me.

" 'ere you go" he said, frowning in disgust at the bar.

Unbuckling myself and I opened the door and stood up. Feeling a hand on my arm, I turned back to the driver.

"I didn't find out da pretty chere's name." he said with a sweet smile on his face. I smiled back at him.

"Rogue. My names Rogue." I said, bending over to close the door.

"Remy" he said, sticking out his hand.

Taking his hand, I shook it gently. Closing the door, I waved as he sped off into the distance. Walking over to the Land Rover, I pulled the keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door. Opening the door, I slipped into the large bucket seats. Taking in a deep breath, I noticed that the car smelled like Marco. Put the key in the ignition, I turned the engine and felt it roar to life. Put it into gear, I drove out of the bar.

The sun burned red as it sunk below the hills. Turning down the dirt road, I sped towards the lake. Driving up to the group of bushes, I jumped out of the Land rover and walked round to open the boot. Laying out a blanket and pillow in the boot, I turned to look for Marco's body.

Marco's body lay slumped over against the scrub, his head leaning slightly to the side. Pausing, I thought to myself. He looks like he's asleep. Grabbed his arm, I swung it over my shoulder and pulled him up. His face leaned against mine, his skin cold and rough.

Holding him to my side, I pulled him over to the boot. Laying him down in the prepared bed, I covered him with the blanket and placed his head on the pillow. Leaned over, I kissed him gently on the head.

"I'm going home Marco." I whispered to him, before closing the boot.


	10. Going Home

Disclaimer ; X-men aren't mine etc. Sorry this chapter took so long but I had school exams!  
  
  
  
  
  
The strong headlights cut through the darkness on the empty road as I stopped the Land Rover outside the gate. I placed my hand on the door handle but was hesitant to open it. 

Why had I come back? Aren't I just going back to the fighting and the death that is slowly eating away at my soul. Shaking my head, I cleared my thoughts and concentrated on constructing as strong a mental shield as possible.

  
  
Pulling on my blood covered hooded coat, I opened the door and stepped out of the vehicle. Looking around me, I took a deep breath, stepped away from the Land Rovers door and closed it behind me. 

Approaching the gates, I placed my head against the cold steel and peered through the bars. Staring down the black asphalt drive, I caught sight of the familiar brick building. Spotlights on the roof cast a dim light over the mansion. My chest ached with a longing to go home, to feel loved. 

Stepping away from the gate, I searched the bushes around it, hoping to find a way in. Carefully maneuvering myself past two bushes, I stood up in the darkness. Moving along the line of bushes, I crouched beside the largest bush, pushing away the branches to reveal the perimeter security system. 

Entering in Logan's code, I deactivated the hidden monitors by the front gate. Brushing the leaves from my hood, I jogged past the thin line of trees and shrubs out into the open field. I stood still facing the mansion and closed my eyes as the light breeze ran across my skin and playing with my hair. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and began to walk towards the main buildings.  
  


  
Following the tree line, I made it to the main door and gingerly opened it. Not hearing an alarm, I took off my sneakers and stepped inside. Looking around, I moved towards and up the stairs, the floorboards groaned quietly beneath me. Pausing at the top of the stairs, I ducked as a pair of feet passed me and went into the bathroom down the hall. 

Ducking into a storage cupboard, I waited as student finished his business in the bathroom and watched him carefully as he moved back to the dorm rooms. Silence once again filled the dark and empty hall ways. Slipping out of the cupboard, I reassured myself that no one else was coming and moved down the hall. 

Passing Jubilee and Kitty's room, I paused and gently opened the door. Jubilee's sleeping figure lay curled up under a thin sheet, her hair messy and splattered across her pillow. "I'm back Jubes." I whispered gently to her. Kitty stirred in her sleep so I quietly closed the door and moved back into the middle of the hallway. Smiling to myself, I walked down the hall, unaware of the person behind me.  
  


  
'Snikt'. The unexpected sound of Logan's claws frightening me. I stood frozen to the spot as low growl came from behind me. 

"Move and you'll get three new air holes in your back" He growled quietly, his voice dripping with malice. 

Holy shit! Logan must have seen me and smelt the blood on my coat. Forcing my body to move, I held up my hands in surrender and I placed them behind my head. I knelt on the wooden floor as the floorboards creaked as his footsteps approached and his sharp breath. The silence filled with tension as I waited for him to speak. 

Finally a shaky voice spoke. "Marie? Is that you?"  
  
"Yeah Logan. It's me." I said quietly. 

Dropping my hands to my side, I turned my body round as I stood up. Logan stood facing me, his eyes looked into mine, his gaze uncertain and bewildered. His claws hung by his side as he stood tense, looking at me. 

His gaze followed mine as I stepped toward him, his body so close I could smell his scent, that unique mixture of sweat, beer and the musk that all males have. 

Reaching my hands up towards his, I grasped his bare hand through my silky gloves. 

"I missed yah." I said quietly, searching his eyes for the acceptance I so desperately needed to feel.

His gaze soften and his lips curled into a smile. Retracting his claws, he let go of my hands and pulled my into a gentle hug. I stood in his arms for what seemed like forever until he loosened his arms and looked down at me, his face puzzled. 

Why is there blood on this coat?" His puzzlement turned to shock as I stepped away from him.

My mouth opened and closed as I fought to find the words to tell him. Finally I was able to speak two words. 

"Follow me." I whispered gently. I walked over to my old room and the pad beeped as I typed in the password. The door made a loud clunk noise as the lock disabled and the door opened. Pulling him inside, he sat down on the bed and looked at me. 

"What happened while you were away" 

Hesitating, I took a deep breath. "I entered a bar out in the middle of no- where...


	11. Untouchable

  
Dear Diary, From Marie  
  


  
  
_  
Dear Diary,  
  
I've been back at the mansion for three days now. It feels weird to be around so many people again, I feel myself shying away from them. Its funny how went I look back on everything that happened to me over that week, that nothing seems real. Marco seems like a dream that disappears when you wake up in the morning. Despite his death, I feel that I needed to go on that trip and I'm glad that I'm back home._

_ When I left, I went to find where my place was in the world. I may have run to get away from the fighting and the blood, but I left behind something that I couldn't take with me. My friends. But by separating myself from my friends, the people I see as family, I realize how much I need them and how much I depend on them. _

_I don't just rely on them for food, shelter and to keep me safe from Magneto, I need them as people to interact with, to care about and be loved by, because without them I've have no one.  
  
__Logan__ has encouraged me to come back and fight for the X-men. Through the fitness tests and endless combat training sessions, I finally see what the X-men fight for. Before I left, I was just stumbling along, staring at my feet, unaware of the world around me. I realize now that I belong to a group who fought for my freedom and will continue to fight for other mutants and protect humans who hate and fear us. I am lucky enough to have them to help me along, to support me. I was afraid of losing my humanity, afraid of being engulfed by the blood that is spilled for my freedom. We're not just fighting for our own personal freedom. We are fighting so that in the future for mutants, we as a people will not have to face a prison of discrimination, marked as criminals of our DNA.  
  
Looking back, I realize that leaving here was stupid. I ran away to find a 'normal' life, one with normal friends and a normal family. But the thing is, I'm not normal. I will never have that life. Normal people can touch, hug and even kiss each other without fear, without pain._

_I'm a teenage girl that, with one touch can suck away your very soul and keep it inside my head, for my mind to replay your memories and feelings. I will never be able to feel human contact without causing pain to others. And I have accepted this.  
  
For the rest of my life, I will be completely untouchable.  
  
  
  
Signed_

_Marie._


End file.
